Grief is a strange beast—messy, unpredictable, and immune to logic. When I lost my son, Ty, I was thrown into a space where nothing made sense. And as someone who’s always found comfort in systems, patterns, and problem-solving, I felt completely unanchored.
I used to believe that most things could be figured out if you just looked at them closely enough. But there’s no pattern to child loss. No formula. No fix. People say “keep busy,” but they don’t tell you what to do when your mind is fogged and your heart feels scrambled like a broken algorithm.
So I turned to what I knew: technology. Not to escape the pain—but to organize it, work with it, survive it.
I threw myself into learning—about science, AI, energy, grief, and the brain. I started using tech not just to manage my life, but to make sense of my grief. AI became a kind of mirror—one that helped me write through the fog, reflect honestly, and build small routines to keep going. It wasn’t perfect, but it helped.
Teaching others became a kind of medicine. Sharing tools, offering tech-based support, showing people how to use what they have to find some clarity—that became part of my own healing. Not because it erased the grief, but because it gave it structure. Because doing something with the pain helped me survive it.
There was a moment I remember clearly: reading the quote,
“Energy cannot be created or destroyed.”
It stopped me. It felt like Ty. Like a thread connecting what was and what still is. A reminder that even in loss, not everything disappears.
This journey hasn’t been neat. It’s been like working with messy, unpredictable data full of emotional outliers. But somewhere in the chaos, I’ve found something worth building. Not a return to who I was—but a new version of who I’m becoming.
If you’re wired to learn, to build, to make sense of things… maybe tech can be part of your grief toolkit too. Not to bypass the pain—but to help you hold it, shape it, and slowly find your way through.
You’re not alone in this. And no, it doesn’t have to make sense to matter.